We all want it. To be that one. The one who takes someone's breath away. The one who is seen from across the room and our mere presence creates something of an obsession. We want to be noticed and adored. We want to be loved, recognized as unique and precious. To have someone see us, truly look into us and treasure what they hold.
Then it happens, we see someone, we take that quick breath, feel that sudden recognition of what we want. And we become the person we wish existed for us. Which is glorious, if that person feels the same. But if that person doesn't, if we alone smile. If their response is to look right through us, past us. What then? We move on. We say it was not meant to be. We were not right for each other... But, in the end we have lost. We saw value in another but they did not, in turn see our worth, they missed our beauty. Rejection, even in the slightest of its twists, hurts.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Being loved!
I got a call today from a past client who would like to work with me
again. First of all I love this client so that makes it wonderful, but
even more so, when I told them that my rates had gone up significantly
this incredible person said "you are the best and the market reflects
that." Which is so what I needed to hear today.
I work in a world of wealthy people and sometimes it is very apparent that one reason why some of them are wealthy is that they are willing to haggle for every dollar. Even when it is obvious that they can easily afford the dollar and I cannot. So when I meet kind people and when I am appreciated by these marvelous creatures... I feel like giving the universe a huge thank you hug!
And, on the topic of giving the universe a hug, I had to go to the post office to find out what to do because my key suddenly refused to open my mailbox. Waited in line for ten minutes, got the guy that I was pleading with fate not to give me, (this dude has never been nice or helpful) and it was really strange. I had a problem, not a package to mail, but a problem and this man who has always been quite rude was insanely nice. He told me what I had to do, left a note for my mailman, gave me advice and sent me on my way. I had to get my mail and of course there is no way to do that because my mail is already in the little box, waiting for someone with a key to set it free. But, not to worry, as I was driving home there was my mailman putting mail into my box!
I just love it when things work out well! It gives me hope for the future.
I work in a world of wealthy people and sometimes it is very apparent that one reason why some of them are wealthy is that they are willing to haggle for every dollar. Even when it is obvious that they can easily afford the dollar and I cannot. So when I meet kind people and when I am appreciated by these marvelous creatures... I feel like giving the universe a huge thank you hug!
And, on the topic of giving the universe a hug, I had to go to the post office to find out what to do because my key suddenly refused to open my mailbox. Waited in line for ten minutes, got the guy that I was pleading with fate not to give me, (this dude has never been nice or helpful) and it was really strange. I had a problem, not a package to mail, but a problem and this man who has always been quite rude was insanely nice. He told me what I had to do, left a note for my mailman, gave me advice and sent me on my way. I had to get my mail and of course there is no way to do that because my mail is already in the little box, waiting for someone with a key to set it free. But, not to worry, as I was driving home there was my mailman putting mail into my box!
I just love it when things work out well! It gives me hope for the future.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
The Value of me
I have two values.
The Value of me:
What I believe is my value, the value that I place in my work, my experiences, my goals, my thoughts, my inspiration, my world. This value only increases with time. It does not move when called into question by other people. It stays the same. It is set by the universe, it is understood and defined by me.
My Societal Value.
This is the value that others give to me. This value can be traded, upgraded, lost, plundered, misunderstood, and misrepresented. I have some control over this value but ultimately it is for others to decide. Am I taken seriously? Do others appreciate my work? Am I moving up and out? Is what I do unique and complex? Does my work have to have meaning? Implied or overt? Is meaning actually necessary? Do I have potential? Am I actually a professional?
Regardless of the value the real question for me is: When you see my work, does it grab you, does it call to you, does it steal you away?
Do I have the courage to put my soul out where people can assign it an arbitrary price? Can I allow myself to let go and fly when people may not understand my flight?
To lay myself bare, to let people know my thoughts and dreams. My visions and longings. Is there enough value in success if it comes at the price of being known?
Ooooh I don't know.
The Value of me:
What I believe is my value, the value that I place in my work, my experiences, my goals, my thoughts, my inspiration, my world. This value only increases with time. It does not move when called into question by other people. It stays the same. It is set by the universe, it is understood and defined by me.
My Societal Value.
This is the value that others give to me. This value can be traded, upgraded, lost, plundered, misunderstood, and misrepresented. I have some control over this value but ultimately it is for others to decide. Am I taken seriously? Do others appreciate my work? Am I moving up and out? Is what I do unique and complex? Does my work have to have meaning? Implied or overt? Is meaning actually necessary? Do I have potential? Am I actually a professional?
Regardless of the value the real question for me is: When you see my work, does it grab you, does it call to you, does it steal you away?
Do I have the courage to put my soul out where people can assign it an arbitrary price? Can I allow myself to let go and fly when people may not understand my flight?
To lay myself bare, to let people know my thoughts and dreams. My visions and longings. Is there enough value in success if it comes at the price of being known?
Ooooh I don't know.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Books
"Hope is the most dangerous emotion."
-Bane
I am learning to make books. I must admit, books are awesome. There is something about a book, it contains thoughts, unique as well as boring, but thoughts that are wholly human. Thoughts that betray what we believe and what we feel. Every book says something about the author.
I am learning to cut the covers off of old books to use as covers on my books. Which is incredibly hard for me to do. I hate spending money and buying bookboard for 10x the price of an old hardcover is more than I can handle. But only just barely. As I stare down at a copy of "A Single Step" by Heather Mills, a book acquired for this exact purpose, I find myself hesitating. How dare I demolish this book? This story of woman's life. I do not in fact very much care about her story and I will almost certainly never read this book and yet, to destroy her book, seems... irreverent.
Don't worry, I chopped the covers off of that book like the experienced expert that I am not. I even threw the rest of the book into the recycling bin. Yeah, I am pretty cold and heartless.
But I keep thinking of the value I place on books. And as I make my books, some are blank slates for others to fill and some will be for me. Will I be able to sell the ones that I put my thoughts into? Will I be able to put them out there for people to flip through and then dismiss? I have spent three years at art markets, watching people walk into my tent, glance around at my sculptures, shrug, and leave. My work is a part of my heart, it is a place in my life and a moment. And oh, it can hurt. I know, I need to grow a thicker skin, I need to not take it personally, but lets face it, art is personal, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be art.
I can eventually drop Heather Mills book into recycling because her very fascinating life is actually not at all fascinating to me. She should not feel sad about this because she is very intriguing to millions of people. My work is not fascinating to millions of people. I should not feel sad about that because my work is fascinating to some people. And as I have learned over the last three years, all it takes is one person, one person who walks into my tent and is spell-bound by what I do. They are not why I make stuff. I sculpt for me. But their appreciation tells me I am not delusional and it gives me hope. Hope that one day I could do this for a living, hope that someday there will be fewer shrugs and more enthusiasm. Which is very dangerous indeed.
-Bane
I am learning to make books. I must admit, books are awesome. There is something about a book, it contains thoughts, unique as well as boring, but thoughts that are wholly human. Thoughts that betray what we believe and what we feel. Every book says something about the author.
I am learning to cut the covers off of old books to use as covers on my books. Which is incredibly hard for me to do. I hate spending money and buying bookboard for 10x the price of an old hardcover is more than I can handle. But only just barely. As I stare down at a copy of "A Single Step" by Heather Mills, a book acquired for this exact purpose, I find myself hesitating. How dare I demolish this book? This story of woman's life. I do not in fact very much care about her story and I will almost certainly never read this book and yet, to destroy her book, seems... irreverent.
Don't worry, I chopped the covers off of that book like the experienced expert that I am not. I even threw the rest of the book into the recycling bin. Yeah, I am pretty cold and heartless.
But I keep thinking of the value I place on books. And as I make my books, some are blank slates for others to fill and some will be for me. Will I be able to sell the ones that I put my thoughts into? Will I be able to put them out there for people to flip through and then dismiss? I have spent three years at art markets, watching people walk into my tent, glance around at my sculptures, shrug, and leave. My work is a part of my heart, it is a place in my life and a moment. And oh, it can hurt. I know, I need to grow a thicker skin, I need to not take it personally, but lets face it, art is personal, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be art.
I can eventually drop Heather Mills book into recycling because her very fascinating life is actually not at all fascinating to me. She should not feel sad about this because she is very intriguing to millions of people. My work is not fascinating to millions of people. I should not feel sad about that because my work is fascinating to some people. And as I have learned over the last three years, all it takes is one person, one person who walks into my tent and is spell-bound by what I do. They are not why I make stuff. I sculpt for me. But their appreciation tells me I am not delusional and it gives me hope. Hope that one day I could do this for a living, hope that someday there will be fewer shrugs and more enthusiasm. Which is very dangerous indeed.
The Plan.
Taking The Art World by storm (in 16 easy steps):
1. Make 15 amazing pieces.
2. Infuse them with meaning, depth, urgency, peace, cunning, whimsy, humor and wit.
3. Layer them with complexity.
4. Douse them in intrigue.
5. Cover them in a vague irony.
6. Go to NYC and investigate galleries.
7. Strike up friendships with dealers and compatible galleries,
8. Use said friendships to gain access to said galleries.
9. Find embarrassing information on said dealers/galleries and invest in blackmail (this step is optional, for use in case of extreme desperation)
10. Manage to not get car repossessed.
11. Manage not to go bankrupt.
12. Don't go too crazy (a little crazy is, in fact, normal. Or at least I hope it is.)
13. Don't get discouraged (uh huh).
14. Don't get tired or lazy.
15. Pretend that I don't feel totally and completely outmatched.
16. Continue working full-time at your old job, whilst spending all of your "free" time being creative and original and interesting and cool.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Emerging in the Middle of a Recession! YAY!
How to be an Emerging Artist:
Be mostly poor.
Create what is in your head... it sucks.
Even you think so.
Create what is in your heart, pull it out of your very soul.
It is incredible.
Just joking... It sucks.
You love it.
Take other jobs so you don't starve to death.
Think up an even better theme!
Contemplate it and envision it continually.
Figure out how to make it work!
EPIC FAIL. You were transporting it to the kiln and you broke it.
Look for a place to put all your work.
Get another job to pay for studio space.
See an incredible sight while driving to work at 4:45 am.
INSPIRATION!!!
Get three hours of sleep every night for two weeks while working 55 hours a week at your day job.
Spend every extra second working on your masterpiece!
Go to the Art Show, spend 8 hours setting up.
Take an Advil or 12.
Price your masterpiece at $1200.
Someone offers your $300.
Fail...all weekend. That is 960 minutes of failure.
Sob your eyes out in your car.
Lose all interest in ever doing anything related to art for the rest of your life.
Take another job, work 125 hour weeks for 10 weeks
Wake up with the most incredible idea.
This is going to be the bestest most beautifulist piece you have ever made... in your entire life!
Really, things have to go better eventually... Right?
The DOW Jones drops 500 points in a single day.
Billionaires visiting Beavercreek wrapped in Dolce and Gabbana lugging Louis Vuitton love your smaller items, they would be just perfect for their daughter... but they have to think about the $20 price tag.
Abandon your booth, quiz more experienced Artists about how they succeeded.
Find out most are now failing as well.
Return to booth.
Two different couples come by, they love your $800 pieces, they promise to come back.
You wait for an hour after the show ends.
They are having dinner.
You are broke.
You pack up. Six hours over mountain passes. You get home by 3 am.
Don't worry.
You are EMERGING!!!
Be mostly poor.
Create what is in your head... it sucks.
Even you think so.
Create what is in your heart, pull it out of your very soul.
It is incredible.
Just joking... It sucks.
You love it.
Take other jobs so you don't starve to death.
Think up an even better theme!
Contemplate it and envision it continually.
Figure out how to make it work!
EPIC FAIL. You were transporting it to the kiln and you broke it.
Look for a place to put all your work.
Get another job to pay for studio space.
See an incredible sight while driving to work at 4:45 am.
INSPIRATION!!!
Get three hours of sleep every night for two weeks while working 55 hours a week at your day job.
Spend every extra second working on your masterpiece!
Go to the Art Show, spend 8 hours setting up.
Take an Advil or 12.
Price your masterpiece at $1200.
Someone offers your $300.
Fail...all weekend. That is 960 minutes of failure.
Sob your eyes out in your car.
Lose all interest in ever doing anything related to art for the rest of your life.
Take another job, work 125 hour weeks for 10 weeks
Wake up with the most incredible idea.
This is going to be the bestest most beautifulist piece you have ever made... in your entire life!
Really, things have to go better eventually... Right?
The DOW Jones drops 500 points in a single day.
Billionaires visiting Beavercreek wrapped in Dolce and Gabbana lugging Louis Vuitton love your smaller items, they would be just perfect for their daughter... but they have to think about the $20 price tag.
Abandon your booth, quiz more experienced Artists about how they succeeded.
Find out most are now failing as well.
Return to booth.
Two different couples come by, they love your $800 pieces, they promise to come back.
You wait for an hour after the show ends.
They are having dinner.
You are broke.
You pack up. Six hours over mountain passes. You get home by 3 am.
Don't worry.
You are EMERGING!!!
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